


Stuck On First

by brokenhighways



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Sports, Angst with a Happy Ending, Enemies to Lovers, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Post-Break Up, Rivalry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-30
Updated: 2018-12-30
Packaged: 2019-09-30 11:03:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17222819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brokenhighways/pseuds/brokenhighways
Summary: Jared and Jensen are former lovers who play for rival kickball teams. When they leave town to attend a National Kickball Championship, a hotel mix-up forces them to face the aftermath of their relationship.





	Stuck On First

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Dancing_Adrift](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dancing_Adrift/gifts).



> Note 1: Written for SPN_J2_Xmas 2018 Challenge. This is a gift for Amanda ([dancing_adrift](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dancing_Adrift))! 
> 
> I originally started writing your esports prompt, but video games are not my forte at all so I twisted it around a little and went with a sport that I've never played in my life. LOL. I tried to include some of your likes, and whatnot, so I truly hope you enjoy the story. I am so sorry that it's so late! 
> 
> Note 2: This is the first J2 fic I've written since LAST YEAR so I'm hella rusty. I wrote the vast majority of it some time ago when I was in a completely different head space. It's funny how a few months can make such a difference, lol. 
> 
> It was hard to get this story from A to Z for many reasons, but it's here (thanks to some last inspiration provided by a bunch of unreleased Jesse McCartney songs and a 2000-era R&B SoundCloud mix) and I hope everyone enjoys it. 
> 
> Note 3: You don't need any extensive knowledge of kickball to understand this story. It's literally baseball without bats. There are a bunch of videos on YouTube if you need visual representation, but it is not necessary. 
> 
> Happy Holidays & Happy New Year to you all!

Jared Padalecki likes to think of himself as an easygoing guy. He's a junior analyst for the City Council. He works nine to five. He sometimes takes the bus. He brushes his teeth twice a day on most days. He recycles. He _cycles_. He plays kickball semi-professionally. He sings Taylor Swift songs in the shower. He's so damn happy-go-lucky that he whistles in his sleep and--

“No. No. No. No. No.”

Chad snatches the laptop out of his hands before Jared can add anymore text to his newly created dating profile.

“Relax, it's not like we're taking this seriously.”

Chad snaps the laptop shut and narrows his eyes. “It's the Nationals. _Nationals_. We've worked too hard for you to get there and do something stupid like let _Asskles_ win because you're not over him yet. That means we need to find you some dick.”

Jared rolls his eyes. He's been hearing all about his “unfinished” business with Jensen _Ackles_ ever since he got frustrated in their last game and kicked a ball at Jensen's head. Technically, Jensen should have been called out, but the umpire ruled that it was a pitching error. Jared's next two throws landed perfectly for the other team and his team lost and eventually came second in their league.

“I'm so over Jensen that I'm over the….rainbow.”

Jared grimaces; that's not his best comeback.

“... and the dreams that you dream involve him,” Chad retorts dryly. “Look, I get it. He was a dick and he broke your heart.”

Jared groans and leans back into his lumpy, beige couch that definitely doesn't hold more memories than he'd like. Jensen didn't _break_ his heart. Things just didn't work out. It's been three months since the break-up and Chad thinks it's time for Jared to get back out there.

Maybe he's right.

~

After the disastrous online dating debacle, Jared heads into work and finds himself face to face with Jensen. He's waiting for the elevator and Jared has no choice. He has to wait there with him.

“Hey, Jared.”

Jared rolls his eyes because Jensen always ruins the whole intense silence awkwardness they've got going on. Sometimes he acknowledges Jared's presence, and other times, it's like he doesn't exist.

All Jared wants right now is _consistency_.

“Hi…” Jared trails off, hoping that the conversation will die a speedy death.

Jensen gives him a searching look before he turns away and presses the up button again. “Good game on Saturday.”

It wasn't a good game, it was a terrible game and the comment stings. It might just be _kickball_ , but Jared and his team take it seriously.

Jared doesn't even engage further, he just turns and heads for the staircase. After the first three flights, he caves and heads for the elevators. Surely Jensen's already reached his office by now.

~

Fifteen minutes later, while he waits for his computer to boot, Jared's mind strays down a familiar path…

He and Jensen first clicked at the Christmas work party last year. That turned into weeks of flirting before they finally admitted they liked each other. It all went well until it became clear that Jared was a commitment kind of guy while Jensen was more of a Netflix and Chill person. Jared planned _dates_ while Jensen invited him over and yanked down his pants before he could even load an episode of _Breaking Bad_.

The ‘break-up’ was messy. Jared lost his shit in the middle of a kickball game. Dynamite Dinosaurs versus Bluebird Rovers. On that day, their friendly banter turned into a kickball rivalry that regularly spawns its own Twitter threads.

The video of Jared pitching the ball at Jensen's head got three hundred retweets.

Jared's never been the kind of guy to hold grudges, but he's never had to be around one of his exes so much before. At work, they're in different departments so it's fine, but kickball is a whole other ballgame. Kickball is Jared's happy place and he regrets introducing Jensen to the rest of the Dinosaurs.

Particularly because two days after they broke up, Jensen defected to the Bluebirds and invited all of his stupid overachieving buddies to join him.

That pissed Jared off for two reasons - it implied that he was being difficult when he wasn't _and_ Jensen happened to be the best damn kickball player he knew. His friends were really good as well, which just made everything ten times worse.

“--Earth to Jared.”

Jared snaps his head up and finds Jensen standing in his office doorway. He's ditched his jacket and he's in a pale blue button down and black slacks that hug him in all the right places.

Suddenly, Jared's mouth is dry and he finds himself swallowing uncomfortably.

Jensen steps forward and folds his arm against his chest.

“Look, I just wanted to say that I'm looking forward to this the weekend. I know that everyone else is too and they're not going to have fun if we keep dragging our personal lives into it. So, I thought maybe we could call a truce?”

This is what continues to upset Jared. The way Jensen is unbothered by everything. Apparently, getting over Jared has been so easy that he's ready to be the better person.

Jared is still aggrieved over their situation, but no more than anyone else would be. He doesn't see any need for a truce because he's not a sixteen year old girl. Heck, he's not Taylor Swift. He's not going to go on a rampage because his not-quite-boyfriend dumped him and then turn around to say ' _look what you made me do_ ’.

The worst part is that Jensen knows that, yet, he's always projecting, always trying to make it seem like _Jared's_ acting like this is the breakup of the century.

Jared stares at him blankly. “Nice speech. You could have just texted me. Or emailed. Maybe even a handwritten letter.”

Jensen gives him a wry smile. “Figured it would be better in person. So, what do you say? Can we agree to forget whatever this is until the weekend is through?”

_This_ is the end result of Jensen's unreasonable behaviour, not that he's going to point that out. It only ever leads to argument.

“Fine,” Jared agrees, deliberately averting his gaze so that it's back on his computer screen. “Is that all you wanted?”

The silence that follows has him switching his eyes back to where Jensen's leaning on the doorway.

For a second, something akin to disappointment flashes on Jensen's face, but he nods slowly before he departs.

Jared looks down at his lap and shakes his head. “I _really_ need to work on that dating profile.”

~

The week flies by and before Jared knows it, he's piling onto the Dynamite Dinosaurs’ team bus with the rest of the players. Kickball requires nine players per team, with the option to sub in three replacements, so there's a relatively large group of them. Chad's here. Jake strolls on, eyes concealed by dark shades while he grumbles about a hangover. Jared downstairs neighbour/friend, Sandy, is present, along with a various people from work and Amy and Matt, a couple from his ill-fated book club.

Tom Welling shows up and boards quietly, his bright blue eyes vacant yet piercing at the same time. He doesn't greet anyone when he gets on the bus, just heads straight to the back and slides his headphones back on.

Sandy practically skips into the bus with her _Coach_ bag in tow. “This is so exciting!”

Jared smiles at her all while wondering why she hasn't quit yet. It's been six months since she actually _kicked_ the ball, as much as he adores her it's frustrating to watching.

Amy and Matt snigger amongst themselves, but Sandy doesn't seem to care.

“DYNAMITE!” Chad yells when the bus pulls out of his driveway. The rest of the team burst into exaggerated roars.

Jared catches the bewildered expression on the bus driver's face.

“We're on our way to the National Kickball Championships,” he explains with an apologetic smile. “Maybe we'll actually win this year.”

The look on the driver's face doesn't change.

~

Jared keeps to himself during the ride to the hotel. It's a three hour trip and usually he'd be the center of attention, but too many things are playing on his mind.

Namely Jensen and how he's going to handle this. It's one thing to see him in a professional setting and know that if he loses his shit he's messing with his ability to pay the rent. It's another thing to be in a casual environment that brings up memories upon memories.

_“Maybe we don't need to do this anymore!”_

_“Shut up and pitch, Jared. We'll talk about this later.”_

_“How many times have I heard that before? You're a liar, Jensen.”_

_“What the fuck have I lied about? We both agreed that this would be fun. Not a fucking full blown relationship. I don't have time to hold your hand and play house with you.”_

Jared still remembers the silence that followed. The way his heart sank in his chest. That all too familiar feeling of not being good enough.

The memories keep on coming and eventually he has to blast music for an hour straight to keep them down.  

Unfortunately, his sour mood follows him into the hotel. It's a regular three star establishment. The décor is passable if not outdated and the air conditioning in the lobby seems to be malfunctioning.

Chad ushers them to the front desk and everyone is able to check in and receive their keys - except for Jared. The receptionist is flustered and Jared knows that something is wrong when she starts jamming the keyboard furiously.

Eventually, he asks to speak to the manager when he's informed for the fourth time that he's not on their system.

“Look, there seems to be problem,” Jared explains when the manager, a homely looking woman called Kim, arrives to talk to him. “I booked a room and I've not received a key.”

Kim smiles at him and extends her hands in what Jared recognises as the universal hand gesture of placation.

“Sir, I'm very sorry, but from what my colleague has told me you never requested a separate room. We don't have you on file. Given the fact that it's a busy weekend we don't have any other available rooms.”

Jared really wants to flip out and demand to see _her_ manager, but that's not what he does. He understands that mistakes happen. It's just three days and he will still have fun, regardless of who he's stuck rooming with.

Unfortunately, Jensen picks that moment to appear in the lobby.

Kim smiles immediately, like Jensen is her favourite person. “Ah, Mr Ackles, thank you for joining us. Mr Padalecki here seems to be mistaken about the room situation. You mentioned that this might happen when you checked in.”

It hits Jared then.

They booked the room _together_ three months ago, roughly three days before they broke up. Jared meant to get around to changing it, but clearly he never did.

Jared would room with Chad, but after last time he vowed never to do that again. Not if he wanted to avoid jail time. That doesn't  mean that he wants to spend the trip rooming with Jensen, though.

“Look, I don't mind sharing, but if Jared's not okay with it, I hope that you'll be able to accommodate him.”

Kim looks like she's chewing glass, but she manages to fix her lips into a smile.

“It's fine,” Jared says before she can say anything.

It's just three days.

He can do this.

~

Jared waits until he's in the room and his bags are down before he explodes.

“You didn't remember that _we_ booked this room? Seriously? You could have given me a heads up!”

Jensen shrugs nonchalantly. “You're more than welcome to go back downstairs and argue with them. Just thought you'd be more preoccupied with winning the tournament.”

Right.

They're here to play kickball.

That's the main focus and not how good Jensen looks in his olive green tee and well worn jeans. Jared clear his throat and turns away, finally taking in the sight of the room. The walls are a nice cream colour with gold undertones and there's a bathroom and kitchenette area.

The king sized bed takes up most of the space, but they've managed to squeeze in a dark brown sofa with beige cushions artistically placed.

“We've only got one bed.”

Jensen raises an eyebrow. “I'll take the couch.”

“Not with your back,” Jared replies without thinking. “I mean...You know what? You do what you want to do. You're good at that.”

He kicks his bags out of the way and flops down onto the bed. His limbs are still sore from being cooped up on the bus. All he wants to do is take a nap before the Dinosaurs all convene for dinner.

“Tired?” Jensen asks, ignoring the last part of Jared's comment. The bed sags when he joins Jared and it feels like something changes in the air. There's an odd intimacy to the question that makes Jared question if he shouldn't just suck it up and room with Chad.

Before they wind up in a situation that neither of them know how to control.

On the other hand, he wants to prove that he's not hung up on their _fling._ It wasn't a relationship and he's always known that.

“I'm sorry that things didn't work out.”

Jared's shoulders rise and fall when he takes a deep breath.

“Don't.”

Jensen's eyebrow shoots up. “What? I can't even talk about it now?”

Jared scoffs and runs his fingers against the caramel coloured bedspread. “You've never wanted to before. It was just over and _we don't need to go backwards, Jared_ \- that's what you said, remember?”

“That's a terrible impression of me.”

Jared rolls his eyes. “Don't try to manipulate me the way you did before. You act like you were too good for me, but you're not.”

Jensen's smile fades and he moves closer, leans in and says, “You were the one that was too good for me.”

“Wow. Where did you get that line from? Hallmark?”

Jensen shrugs. “It's true. I've missed you. You might not believe that, but it's true.”

Jared knows that he should grab his stuff and _leave._ This might be all part of the game. Jensen distracts Jared and suddenly he can't play because he's thinking about it instead of playing the perfect pitch.

However, he can't. He's not going to let Jensen win whatever game he's playing.

Not this time.

When Jensen inches even closer and presses his lips to Jared's, he gives in. Jensen tastes like peppermint and coffee and he kisses Jared like he has something to prove. It's messy, hard and passionate…

...and not what Jared wants.

He pushes Jensen back and deliberately doesn't meet his eyes. “Just...give me a second to wash up and I'll be right back.”

Within less than thirty seconds, he's in the bathroom, turning the taps on before he yanks his phone from his pocket to text Chad.

_Dude, Jensen totally made a move on me_

**_What? How? When?_ **

_We forgot to change our room booking. We have to share._

**_Shit. Look, we're meeting in five minutes to grab dinner. ESCAPE._ **

Jared pockets his phone and splashes cold water onto his face and composes himself. He runs a hand through his too long hair and mentally berates himself for not getting it cut.  

“This isn't a fashion show,” he mutters to himself. “You're here to play kickball.”

He stares at his reflection and takes a deep breath.

All he has to do is go out there and explain that he doesn't want to do this.

Instead he leaves the bathroom and blurts out, “I'm going to grab dinner with the guys. I'll see you later,” before proceeding to exit the room swiftly.

~

Jensen's asleep when Jared finally makes it back to the hotel room. The Dinosaurs’ dinner turned into them hanging out at the bar, and Jared's feeling better.

Sure, his sort-of-ex boyfriend kissed him and made him feel conflicted.

He's a grown man; he can deal with it.

He's starting to see that the idea of Jensen in his mind is far from the reality.

~

By morning, the room is full of delightful smells. Bacon, eggs, pancakes and _coffee._ Jared cracks an eye open and comes face to face with Jensen's crotch.

“What the?” He scrambles backwards and ends up hitting his head on edge of the couch headrest.

Jensen steps back quickly. “Sorry, I was trying to figure out how to wake you. Tournament opening session is in forty five minutes. I ordered breakfast so... yeah.”

Jared narrows his eyes. “Why are you being nice? Especially after last night. I left you hanging.”

Jensen rubs his face tiredly. “I've been so stressed lately and I behaved horribly last night. I promise that I didn't do it because you just happened to be there. I shouldn't have kissed you. I'm sorry.”

Jared rolls his eyes and sits up slowly. “That makes a change.”

Jensen shakes his head. “You knew what it was, Jare, and while I'm sorry for my behaviour, I need you to accept that I _never_ promised you anything.”

Jared decides there and then that he's not doing this.

He's not talking about their relationship, not going to spend a single second dwelling on it. He's not going to move out of the room either, which means that they just have to compromise.

“Look, this is about kickball. So unless it's Kickball related, we don't need to talk, how about that?”

Jensen's lips press into a thin line. “Fine.”

~

Kickball is a simple enough game to play. It's like baseball, but they kick the ball instead. Each team has nine players; there's the pitcher, kicker and various field positions. There are several innings per game and the goal is to make it around the field without being called out.

It's not a cutthroat sport that requires intense dedication, although, that memo seems to be lost on the teams here.

Jared and the rest of the Dinosaurs find themselves in a maze of impeccably designed team outfits. Even Jensen's Bluebirds have a nice jersey with names on the back and everything.

By comparison, the Dinosaurs are wearing cheap Barney shirts that they found online.

“We should just go home now,” Sandy says morosely. “We look like idiots.”

Chad rolls his eyes. “Oh, please. If this was a movie we'd be the rag tag underdogs that triumph at the end.”

Jake eyes him warily. “This isn't a movie.”

Chad's eyebrow shoots upwards. “That's why I said _if_ , dumbass.”

Before Jared can intervene, Jensen comes over and greets the rest of the team. He gets a friendly reception from everyone - with the exception of Chad.

“Asskles. It's so _not_ nice to see you.”

“Chad,” Jensen replies with a barely there nod.

Jared waits for the cutting remark that usually follows, but Jensen seems to have taken issue with something else.

“Nice shirts. Looks like you guys are more than well prepared. It's just too bad that the rules and regulations state that all teams must have matching _official_ kits.”

Jensen gestures at the rest of the Bluebirds who are decked out in matching navy shirts with a ball wielding bluebird emblazoned on the front and royal blue shorts.

“Your first game is in two hours. Good luck.”

He saunters away so casually that Jared can't help it. He throws his information booklet at him. It hits Jensen square in the back and he stumbles, almost taking down three other people.

Matt shakes his head. “That guy is an asshole. He's just trying to mess with us. My uncle is one of the tournament runners. He said what we're wearing is fine.”

Jared narrows his eyes at Jensen, who's rubbing his shoulder slowly as he makes his way back to his team.

If he wants to play dirty, then fine.

Game on.

~

The Dinosaurs’ first game gets off to a disastrous start. Jared's pitching is all over the place and their opponents rack up easy runs.

When Chad calls for a team hustle, the first thing he says is, “Jared, get it together. Ackles is out there _laughing_ at us.”

Jared looks over at where Bluebird Rovers are waiting for their game to proceed and sure enough, Jensen's head is thrown back, shoulders heaving as he laughs.

The burst of rage that floods Jared's system is electric.

He pats Chad on the shoulder. “Alright, man, I'm good. I got this.”

He really does.

~

Kickball might be a glorified kids game but Jared's an analyst by nature. He's done his research. He knows that the other team have at least three members who get winded if they run too much. He knows that Sharon, who's currently on second base, is more interesting in staring at the umpire than reaching third base. All he has to do is pitch properly.

His next pitches are delicate fastballs that result in the other team losing a player due to a series of very much illegal bunts and they go on to win the match overall.

“DYNAMITE!!” Chad does the honours as their trudging off to the waiting area.

“RAWRRRR!”

The first three rounds of the championship are being held consecutively so they have to stick around after their first game. It gives them a good chance to size up their next opponents…and figure out if the Bluebirds actually have any weak spots. Jared's got an extensive section on them in his binder and it's more or less annotated with _unbeatable._

“You know, science suggests that dinosaurs didn't actually roar.”

Jensen's back, much to Jared's chagrin. For someone who was so eager to defend his shitty behaviour, he really can't stay away.

Sandy steps forward and places her hands on her hips. “Science also suggests that you kiss my ass.”

Chad and Jake burst into a fit of laughter while Jensen's face flushes slightly. He looks at Jared for a moment, but scoffs and leaves when he gets nothing in return.  

“What happened between y'all?” Chad asks when they're seated and passing around water and orange slices. “Why is he acting like that?”

Jared shrugs, although, his eyes are still tracking Jensen's retreating figure. “He kissed me and I ran out and met up with you guys. This morning he got me breakfast. Now he's being all annoying.”

“Dude, he's messing with you,” Chad informs him, his voice coloured with annoyance. “... but I think it might be his way of communicating.”

Before Jared can ask what Chad means by that, there's a huge commotion when the  Shortstop and Left Fielder of the team they're watching get into a fight. All Jared can see are flailing arms and legs and he smiles to himself.

Marty and Flynn Branaugh of the Boars Light Year team. Page thirteen of the binder. Brothers-in-law who _hate each other._

“What is that? The third year in a row they've been disqualified for fighting?” Amy asks. She shakes her head, her face scrunched up with disgust.

Jake snorts. “You'd think that they'd just pick one of them.”

“Whole family's on the team,” Jared tells him. “Might make Sunday dinner a little awkward if they start playing favorites.”

“Like when you and Jensen broke up and we had to draw straws to see who we'd back if one of you left the team.”

That interesting information comes from Tom Welling, the quietest member of their team. Jared honestly forgot that he was even here _and_ they went out on a date once. Said date is also something Jared struggles to remember and he's got a very extensive memory.

Plus, Tom is straight anyway. Apparently dating a guy had been part of his method acting process. Jared can't really remember on account of how boring the man is. The only reason why he's here is because he has some kind of Superman like ability when it comes to kicking the ball.

Unfortunately, attempting to be interesting is Tom's kryptonite.

Chad tries to deflect from the revelation with a hastily spoken: “Tom, maybe you should go and get us some _real food_ for us. I'm starving.”

Jared folds his arms tightly. “No, I want to hear all about this straw drawing that you did.”

Sandy clears her throat. “Look, we all loved Jensen. Well. We loved how we always won when he played with us and that swayed our judgement momentarily before we decided to back you.”

Jared rolls his eyes. “Tom got the deciding vote and picked me, didn't he?”

He knows his friends well enough to know that they're just as obsessed with winning as he is.

Chad's eyes widen comically. “How do you _always_ do that?”

“The only reason why he'd bring it up is if he knew he had some moral high ground to stand on. Plus, he _hates_ Jensen.”

Everyone turns to look at Tom who's sitting the in dugout area passively.

Tom’s bright blue eyes don't change and Jared wonders if he's really a robot. It would make a lot of sense.

“I don't hate him, I just don't see why you were so into him anyway. He's a huge commitment phobe. He didn't even want to be a Dinosaur at first.”

Jake enters the fray and nods at Tom. “True. Plus, there was the part where he broke up with you mid-game in front of everyone. Dick move.”

Matt and Amy never stray too far into personal matters, but on this occasion, Amy does.  “I think we can all agree that it wasn't the best relationship. Remember that time he didn't show to Jared's dinner party? Or his Christmas party? Or any party that we've thrown?”

Sandy frowns. “Actually, he came to my costume party.”

Chad snaps his fingers. “Nope. That was an accident. He didn't realise it was at Jared's house. I accidentally heard him saying it was sex’o’clock before he realised there were people around.”

Jared can't even form a suitable response to _that._ He didn't even know Chad heard. Or that Jensen thought there was anything remotely sexy about that line.

Matt pulls a face and tosses his water bottle onto the ground. “Can we stop talking about Jensen and focus on getting to the final so that we can kick Bluebirds asses on Monday?”

Jared is definitely on board with that.

~

After two more eventful games, Jared returns to the hotel, happy that they've made it to the quarter finals. He's nursing a slight wrist strain, so he begs off the team drinks and locates the ice machine. After wrapping his wrist and icing it for twenty minutes, he heads back to the room.

He's not expecting to see Jensen sitting cross legged on the bed with papers spread around him and his laptop open.

He smiles slowly when he sees Jared. “Oh, hey, I didn't think you'd be back so early. Just trying to get some work done.”

“No... That's cool.”

Jared grabs some things from his duffle bag and heads into the shower. It's a quick, joyless affair because he feels uncomfortable, like Jensen will think he's doing something else if he's in there too long.

That thought riles him up even more because _fuck_ what Jensen thinks.

The guys are right. Even though Jensen was a Dinosaur, he never acted like one. All he did was show up to play and show up to fuck.

By the time Jared's done in the bathroom, his good mood has evaporated.

“You okay?” Jensen asks after Jared grabs a cup of coffee and settles on the couch. He'd settled down after the first round of games, although, the rest of his team seem to have decided to continue antagonizing the Dinosaurs.  That made for a tense atmosphere and Jared's not in the mood for idle chit chat.

“Drop the nice guy act, okay? You're not fooling anyone.”

Jensen rolls back his shoulders and swings his legs down so that his feet are touching the ground. “I thought we agreed to keep everything above board? What's with the attitude?”

Jared raises an eyebrow. “That was before you tried to antagonise me in front of my friends. Do you know how crazy that looks?”

Jensen scratches at his chin pensively and looks away from Jared. “I thought it was just team rivals engaging in banter. My bad.”

That nagging sense of self-doubt finally escapes and Jared wonders if he's being too hard on Jensen.

“No, it's mine…”

The thing is that, Jared's been harbouring this resentment for so long, but he could have walked away when he didn't get what he wanted.

He _should_ have.

He can't keep blaming Jensen when he did nothing to protect himself.

“You hurt me a lot and I guess that there's no coming back from that. We're _never_ going to be friends. I liked you way too much for that, and you saw me as a way to pass time. We were on two different pages and that's okay.”

Jensen looks troubled by Jared's words. “Look, I wanted to call you after everything went down, but I didn't know what to say, especially after what you said.”

This is the part that no one knows, not even Chad. Jared, in a moment of hopeless desperation, confessing his love in the rain like he was the stupid protagonist in a romantic comedy. Jensen telling him that he was _sorry_ like he pitied Jared for daring to have a heart.

He's too ashamed to admit that he set himself up for even more hurt.

“That's fine.”

Jensen shuts the laptop and stands up. “It's not fine, Jared, it's messed up. Yeah, I'm not the type to settle down, but I joined your stupid kickball team. Playing every week was the best fun I've had in years and I think this is the dumbest game on Earth.”

Jared's not buying that, but he just shrugs and remains quiet.

“I freaked out.” Jensen's eyes are glued to the floor, like he's trying to shield himself. That sums him up; closed off and constantly holding Jared at arm's length.

Jared's not sure why people are always attracted to what they can't really have.

“Over kickball?” Jared asks. It's like Jensen forgets that Jared isn't a mind reader. There's always a disconnect between what he's feeling and what he's willing to admit to.

“Over _you_ ,” Jensen admits. “I don't join kickball teams and I don't meet friends, or any of that crap. Half of the time, I don't even hang around before or _after_ sex, but I broke all of those rules for you.”

This is what Jared would have liked to hear when they broke up. Not in a hotel room that they were too stupid to cancel and re-book. Nothing stopped Jensen from calling, texting or picking up the phone.

They work in the same building for Pete's sake. He's had ample opportunity.

“None of that matters, Jensen. We're done. You don't need to make me feel better. So, just drop it, okay? I'm going to get more ice.”

“Are you hurt?” Jensen's gaze is on his wrist.

Jared scoffs. “Like I'd tell you.”

~

The next morning, Jared wakes up early to have breakfast with Chad in the dining room

When he gets there he loads his plate with waffles and pancakes. He's probably going to regret eating all of this later, but hey, he needs his energy.

He waits until they're done eating to finally ask the question that's been playing on his mind. “Yesterday, you said you thought Jensen was trying to communicate with me. What did you mean by that?”

Chad shrugs and drops his fork onto his plate with a messy clatter. “He obviously misses being a Dinosaur. Which is why he kept on coming over. The douchebags on his team are all straight laced lawyer types like he is. Overachievers who take the fun out of everything.”

“He told me that he thinks kickball is stupid.”

Chad raises an eyebrow. “He said that? While being out of town for a Kickball _Championship_? You know what this means right?”

“He's trying to throw me off my game, I know.”

Jared's not going to be the same naive guy that thought Jensen cared about him. He's not going to believe any of what Jensen was saying last night.

He's heard things like that before and had his heart stamped on when Jensen carelessly took them back without a moment's thought.

“Or, he came here for another reason.”

Jared eyes Chad warily, unsure of where this conversation is going.

Chad leans forward, and his face takes in a kind of seriousness that Jared's not used to seeing.

“Jensen's the kind of guy that threw a fit if we put the base plates down wrong. He's a perfectionist. There's no way that he just forgot to cancel your room.”

“You think he planned this?” Jared wants to laugh at the mere thought.

Chad snaps his fingers. “I'm _sure_ of it.”

“What do I do?”

“Do you _want_ to get back together with him?”

Jared shakes his head vigorously. “No. Definitely not.”

Chad doesn't seem convinced, but he shrugs all the same. “Well then. Maybe you need to play him at his own game.”

Jared rolls his eyes. “All he's done is tell me that I knew what it was, but at the same time, he broke all of his rules for me. His game is confusing. Maybe it's best not to play it.”

Chad sits back in his seat and sighs deeply, like he's disappointed in Jared for not wanting to manipulate another person.

“Okay, so, you're all about commitment, right? He thinks that you've just been waiting around for him to get a clue. Screw that. What you need to do is make him jealous.”

Jared frowns. “How am I supposed to do that? Make up some imaginary boyfriend.”

Chad grins mischievously. “Yes. Now you're talking! Luckily for you, I know the perfect guy.”

~

The perfect guy is Tom Welling.

Tom freaking Welling.

Surprisingly, Tom is all too happy to take part in Jared's game playing.

“So, what do you need me to do?”

Chad pats Tom on the shoulder. “Just act like you're in love with Jared. Think of it like a role that you need to get into.”

Tom nods stiffly. “I can do that. Especially if this is for Jensen's benefit. I hate that guy.”

Jared raises an eyebrow at the sudden display of emotion. “Why?”

“I've never met a lawyer who was trustworthy so I just automatically dislike them.”

Jared wonders if Tom is aware of how weird he is and just fucking with them.

Chad waves a dismissive hand in the air. “Forget about that. Just remember, this is a new relationship. You didn't tell anyone before, but after Jensen kissed you, you thought maybe it was best you let him know.”

Before they can hash out the details, Jensen appears in the reception room. The organisers have called a meeting and all teams still in the competition are in attendance.

With one swift movement, Tom's arm is wrapped around Jared's waist and his body is flush against Jared's.

“Is this okay?”

“Uh, yeah,” Jared says nervously. He hasn't been with anyone since Jensen, so it's a little awkward. Although, Tom’s muscled arm feels good around his waist.

Chad stays close to them, giving them whispered updates even when the meeting begins and they're all seated.

“He's looked over here three times.”

Tom takes that as his cue to lean in and whisper something in Jared's ear.

Jared's not expecting it to be: “What do you see in him?”

He finds himself looking three rows ahead where Jensen is seated. He knows that Jensen is kind even though he pretends he's not, knows that he worries about his job and how he's not the best he could be, knows that he thinks his family are disappointed in him.

Jensen's got layers that have always been more than what he looks like, or what he does. Jared always felt at ease with him. There was just a natural comfort he's never had with anyone else before.

He's not about to say that, though.

“I don't know.”

Tom’s expression is unreadable and Jared's not expecting him to say: “I hope it all works out.”

“I thought you hated him,” Jared replies, eyebrow raised.

“On the way to the bathroom, I heard one of those asshole Bluebirds talking smack about you. Jensen stepped in and told whoever it was to back the fuck off. I still don't care for him, but maybe he's not so bad. Plus, you're my friend. If he makes you happy, that's enough for me.”

Jared's starting to think that he misjudged Tom.

“Thanks Tom,” he says quietly. “That means a lot.”

Tom's mouth curves upwards in a rare grin. “Hey, what are friends for?”

~

After the meeting is over, Jared bumps into Danneel Harris at the refreshments table. She's one of Jensen's closest friends and she's a Bluebird. They met once while he and Jensen were together, but he never really connected with her.

He didn't really connect with any of Jensen's friends for obvious reasons.

Still, she smiles at him and nods curtly.

“Jared.”

He lets his lips curl upward tentatively.

“Danneel.”

Danneel glances around the room before she sighs warily and says, “Look, Jensen sent me over to find out what the deal is with Tom. Apparently, you kissed him, but now you're all over some other guy and wah wah wah wah. I stopped listening.”

Jared snorts before he can catch himself.

“Actually _he_ kissed me, and then he told me that I knew what I signed up for. Oh, but at the same time, he freaked out over me. I guess I was just supposed to fall over his feet?”

Danneel shrugs. “He doesn't know what he wants. That's Jensen for you. My advice. Run far, far away.”

She starts to walk away before Jared halts her in her tracks.

“Don't you want to know about Tom?”

“Not unless it's a dick report. I'll make something up for Jensen.”

Jared can't help laughing; she might be a Bluebird, but she's not so bad.

~

The Dinosaurs quarter final match is scheduled last, so Jared finds himself in the hotel lobby taking one last look at his binder.

“I can't believe you actually analyse the teams.”

He looks up to find Jensen watching him with an amused expression.

“I analyse everything,” Jared says. It's true. Sometimes he thinks he analyses too much. He sees things that aren't there, concocts ideas in his head and catches feelings that screw him over in the long run.

Jensen sits down beside Jared and stretches his legs. He's clearly going for casual, but Jared can see the way his shoulders tense. He can feel the nervous energy pouring off Jensen in waves; it makes the hairs on the back of his neck stand.

He fights the natural urge he has to calm Jensen down, reassure him and tell him that everything is going to be alright.

“You and Tom seem close. Thought you couldn't stand him,” Jensen says, eyes straight ahead like he's afraid of looking at Jared.

Jared keeps his eyes on Jensen's side profile. “He's not that bad once you take the time to figure him out.”

This time Jensen looks at him, one eyebrow curved into a delicate arc. “You once told me that he was so boring that you counted him in your sleep.”

Jared clears his throat. He's starting to feel bad about all of his Tom jibes.

“I was wrong about him. He's a nice guy. He volunteers and stuff. In fact, we're going to a charity drive tomorrow.”

Sunday is the tournament rest day before the semi-finals and final take place on Monday. Typically, they spend it drinking, but Matt’s uncle wants their help with this charity drive for the underprivileged kids in the area.

“Oh, really? The Bluebirds and I would be happy to attend.”

“I'm pretty sure I heard Rosenbaum wondering where he could buy tequila _wholesale._ ”

Mike Rosenbaum has some kind of senior position at the City Council, but his reputation for partying is well known.

Jensen doesn't even blink. “Mikey's stressed out from work. He'll be at that charity drive. We all will.”

Jared wonders why he opened his big fat mouth.

~

“So, he apologized for what happened, he kissed you, he's jealous of Tom and he's coming to this charity drive by choice?” Sandy says when Jared updates the Dinosaurs during dinner. “He so wants you back.”

Jared stifles an eye roll and wonders why he keeps on talking about this. He both wants and does not want his friends input. It's a perplexing situation to find himself in.

Amy clears her throat takes a long sip of her wine.

“Just say what you have to say and stop with the dramatics,” Sandy snaps abruptly. “This is serious. Jared's heart is on the line.’

Jared reaches forward and confiscates her glass of wine only for Sandy to snatch it right back.

Sandy swats his arm. “What? It's true isn't it? You love him. We can all see it. Maybe this story has a happy ending!”

Judging by the uncomfortable looks exchanged at the table, she's the only one that feels that way.

Amy shakes her head and chimes in with her two cents. “Look, even if Jensen does want you back. What's changed? Is he monogamous all of a sudden? Is he willing to upgrade you from fuck buddy to _boyfriend_? If the answer is yes, by all means, keep playing this game. If it's no - cut your losses before you get hurt again.”

Sandy raises her glass in Amy’s direction. “I really want to say something bitchy, but that's sound advice.”

Matt snorts derisively and slides an arm around Amy casually. “I don't see what's so special about Jensen anyway. He's just a guy.”

Amy gives her husband a sidelong glance. “Nobody who looks like that is _just_ a guy, baby.”

Sandy giggles. “Ain't that the truth.”

Tom rolls his eyes and spears his chicken breast with more force than necessary. “I think that we should see how it goes. Maybe Jensen's willing to admit that he wants more. He might just need time.”

“He _kissed_ Jared on the first night,” Chad points out. “He got all hot and bothered over Jared _maybe_ being with Tom. I say confront him. Give him an ultimatum.”

Sandy glares at Chad, her wine sloshing violently when she sets the glass down. “That's a terrible idea. We still have a chance of winning this thing. We need Jared to be focused. He can't do that if Jensen rejects him.”

“Gee, thanks, Sandy,” Jared grumbles, not really appreciating the fact that his relationship is now table talk.

This isn't some stupid soap opera storyline - it's his life.

“Even though, it pains me to say this - I think Chad is right,” Tom adds. “ When we're done here, you should go up to your room and ask Jensen if he sees a future for the two of you. The answer is either yes or no.”

Jared refrains from saying what's really on his mind.

If it was that simple they wouldn't be having this conversation.

~

When Jared gets back to their hotel room, the couch is gone. The very same couch that he's been forced to sleep on since they arrived here.

In its place is an cream pouffe that Jared definitely won't be able to sleep on.

Jensen is sitting up on the bed with an innocent expression painted on his face.

“Where's the couch?” Jared asks, making sure that his tone is even. This might be part of a game, but he's started to feel like he's a puppet with strings that are being pulled.

“Oh, I spilled some salsa on it and they needed to get it specially cleaned. Sorry. Looks like we have to share.”

Jensen sounds anything _but_ sorry.

The pep talks at dinner fly out of the window because after everything that happened, Jensen doesn't even have the right to play dirty.

Yet here he is, covered in proverbial filth.

“I'll just sleep on the floor then,” Jared states, folding his arms around his torso to emphasise how serious he is.

“Right,” Jensen nods slowly. “It's not like we have to be in top shape for a sports competition or anything. Plus, we don't have heated floors and this is an old building. It might be a little... _cold._ ”

“Fine,” Jared snaps angrily. “We can share the bed. Know this, though - if you even think about trying anything, I'll knee you in the balls.”

Jensen just grins, his eyes twinkling like he's won a damn prize.

~

They don't go to bed right away.

Jared flicks through the TV channels and settles on some cheesy Hallmark movie. It's about a girl who is perpetually unlucky in love. Jared watches as she makes misstep after misstep before she finally finds a guy who doesn't see her as a way to pass time.

The end credits roll along with a song that sounds suspiciously like _So Into You_ by Tamia.

That leaves a hollow feeling inside Jared's chest.

“Why do you watch this garbage?” Jensen asks suddenly, breaking the hour long silence between them.

Jared looks back from where he's sitting on the stupid pouffe. For a moment, he forgot that Jensen was even here.

Jared rolls his eyes. “Everything you don't personally enjoy is garbage to you.”

Jensen pulls a face. “Maybe. This movie truly is trash, though. No one would keep making the same mistake over and over. Especially over those douchebags. The second time she heard that one guy say _let's just keep things casual_ she should have checked out.”

“Right, it's _her_ fault that she liked those guys. _Her_ fault that they used her and led her on. _Her_ fault that they wasted her time.”

Jensen sighs. “That's not what I'm saying. She should _know_ that she deserves better and she shouldn't put up with that crap again.”

Jared isn't sure if Jensen's talking about the fast speaking event planner in the movie or _him_ , but it doesn't matter.

“It's not always that simple,” he says, turning away so that his eyes are on the television screen. “Before you and I dated or messed around, I almost got engaged to this guy. I bought the ring, I planned the proposal and he broke up with me. Apparently, he wasn't ready to settle down and he thought that we were on the same page.”

He never told Jensen this when they were dating because he's had his guard up since then. Everything can go right in a relationship until it doesn't. It takes one moment of madness to ruin everything, and sometimes that's a blessing.

There is an unreadable expression on Jensen's face when Jared forces himself to look back. “Is that why you kept asking me where we were going?”

Jared shrugs and rolls his shoulders back to ease the growing tension. “I wasted three years on that dude. I'm not going to do that again. I liked you, but time is precious. I don't want a casual relationship with anyone. I don't want to be second guessing how much a person likes me. I want to just _know_.”

“Fair enough.”

That's all Jensen has to say and Jared assumes that the conversation is over the way it always is when they have serious discussions.

“You ready to hit the hay?” he asks before he switches the television off.

“Sure, let me just put away my laptop.”

Jared goes to wash up in the bathroom and by the time he comes out, Jensen's already in bed. The covers are open on the left side and Jared turns out the main lights, leaving the bedside lamp on.

He slips his shirt off and slides in. Jensen's facing the wall, leaving Jared to stare at the back of his Harvard shirt.

It's weird because he's used to seeing pale skin on display.

“I thought you couldn't sleep comfortably unless you were naked.”

Jensen rolls around slowly, eyes scanning Jared's bare chest briefly before they flick upwards.

“I'm being considerate given that we're not together anymore and that I spilled salsa on the couch. Gotta be fair, right?”

Jared snorts and rolls his eyes. “I’m a big boy. I can handle a little skin.”

Jensen shrugs as if to say _okay, whatever._ He sits up and pulls off the shirt.

“You can take off all of it if you want.”

Jared's not trying to be messy, he just wants to see how far Jensen's willing to go when pushed.

“Jared…”

“What? I just want you to be comfortable.”

There's some awkward shuffling and Jensen tosses his shorts on the floor. He yanks the covers up against him, like he's embarrassed.

“Look, I'll take mine off too if that makes you comfortable,” Jared adds, smiling serenely for good measure.

Jensen's eyes bug out of their sockets.

“What? No. Dammit. Fine. I spilled salsa on the couch on purpose. I was going to wait until you were close enough to tell that I want to be with you, okay? Like, hold hands and skip around town _be with you_. Happy now?”

Jared isn’t happy, he's _confused_.

“Why are you acting like a skittish teenager on prom night?” he asks, because he's not even sure where to start. That description of a relationship sounds like Jensen's idea of a nightmare.

Jensen's face is tight and visibly irritated when he says, “Maybe because you're turning my heartfelt plan into the sleazy opening of a softcore erotica thriller?”

Jared can't help it, he laughs. “I thought that you were trying to get in my pants. I was just messing with you. Although, you don't have to be in bed with me to tell me that you want to be with me. You might want to work on that part of your plan.”

There's a long silence before Jensen shifts and speaks again.

“Is that all you have to say?”

“I don't know what you want me to say. You see me with Tom and suddenly, you want me? It's convenient.”

“Nothing about you is convenient to me, Jared, I... I keep fucking this up because I have no idea what I'm doing.”

“Don't worry about it. What's done is done. Let's just go to sleep, okay?”

“Fine.”

Jared wonders why Jensen always gives up so easily.

~

Jared regrets all of his game playing when he wakes up with his ass pressed against Jensen's extremely attentive cock. He can hear light snores behind him and he groans inwardly. He starts to scoot forward, but Jensen's arm tightens around his waist.

“This is bad,” Jared whispers to himself. “This is very bad.”

“Jared, you okay?” Jensen's sleepy voice sounds in his ear and Jared shudders involuntarily. He's not as unaffected as he'd like to be, so he doesn't turn around.

“I'm good. I slept really well. It was amazing. How are you?”

That seems to fully wake Jensen up because he's apologizing and putting space between them.

“It's fine,” Jared says, finally turning around. “I did insist that you sleep naked. This is what I get.”

Jensen chuckles nervously, and Jared follows suit. Eventually, they sober up and Jared finds himself looking into Jensen's eyes. Usually, there's always something there, an impenetrable safe that he's desperate to crack. All he sees now is an openness that has always escaped him before.

“Hi.” Jensen's voice is soft and practically a whisper, his hand coming up to brush a thumb against Jensen's mouth.

Jared doesn't pull away when Jensen leans in and kisses him slowly, drawing it out long enough to leave him painting. Jared's mind goes into overdrive because he knows that this is a terrible idea, but he _really_ wants this.

This time he initiates the kiss. It's faster and sloppier than the first one, but he doesn't care. All he cares about is tasting every inch of Jensen's skin and mapping out his body with his tongue.

Of course, they're both too wired for that, so he ends up kicking off the covers and pulling down his shorts enough for them to grind against each other.

“God, I've missed this,” Jensen says into his mouth before he closes the gap again, kissing Jared so hard that he feels it tingling down his spine.

He comes first and Jensen follows after him, crying out softly as he shudders against Jared's frame.

It takes two minutes and three seconds for regret to kick in, but Jared doesn't say anything even as Jensen kisses him slowly.

~

The charity drive gets off to a great start. Jared's manning the bake sale, which is awesome because the strawberry shortcake is to _die_ for.

Unfortunately, the mood changes when the Bluebird Rovers arrive. They're dressed a little fancier than necessary, but Matt's uncle welcomes them with open arms.

Jensen ends up being the “extra pair of hands” Jared was promised for the bake sale.

He greets Jared enthusiastically, even pressing a chaste kiss to his mouth.

“Uh, hi, Jensen,” Jared says quickly glancing around to see if any of his friends saw them. Jensen's face dims slightly but he doesn't stop smiling. Jared hasn't told his friends what happened because he's embarrassed that his own plan backfired so horribly.

Amy was right, playing games is for suckers.

“Let me guess, you were lured over here by the strawberry shortcake,” Jensen says, startling Jared from his thoughts.

Jared laughs before he can help himself. “Yeah. You know me... always down for some shortcake.”

Jensen smiles in response and Jared breathes a sigh of relief when he excuses himself to go and get some water.

~

The next few hours pass by uneventfully yet Jared feels uncomfortable. Jensen's acting like they're good again and that's far from the case.

He doesn't want to jump the gun and start something that'll crumble as easy as the brownies he's just spent two hours selling.

“Jensen, look, I'm going to stay with Chad for the rest of the tournament,” Jared says when he can no longer keep it in anymore.

“What, why? I thought we were good. Is this about Tom?”

Jensen seems genuinely hurt and it's like a knife to Jared's chest.

“Tom and I aren't together, okay? That was just me being dumb. I was just messing around with you.”

Jensen looks unfazed by that revelation. “So, we're good then? We didn't do anything wrong this morning. We're good.”

Jared looks down. “We are. I just. I can't do this. I'm still getting over our break up and I think that you're not thinking straight. When you're back at work and you don't have time to _play house and hold hands_ , you're going to resent me all over again and it's like you said - why would someone make the same mistake all over again?”

Jensen face twists and he scoffs, tone bitter when he speaks. “Using my own words against me. Contextually. It's like I'm in court. Can't even object.”

“I'm sorry, Jensen.”

“No, I'm the one that's sorry.”

Jared can only watch on when Jensen trudges away, his head bowed down with disappointment.

~

Rooming with Chad is just as awful as Jared knew it would be, but his only other option is Tom and that's not happening.

“How did he get the hotel to get rid of the couch?” Chad muses around a mouthful of Doritos. “Surely, it would have been less hassle? It makes no sense. It's brilliant and absolutely crazy at the same time!”

Jared shoves a handful of his own potato chips in his mouth, chewing slowly before he answers.

“It doesn't matter anyway.”

Chad nudges him emphatically. “Exactly. Forget him!”

Jared nods. “Yeah. That's what this is about, right? Showing him that I don't need him.”

“Dude, he was all kissy kissy with you and you shut him down. It's time to close the Jensen chapter so that we can annihilate the Bluebirds once and for all.”

Now that's a plan that Jared can get on board with.

~

“ _Bluebird Rovers have quit the tournament, which means that_ \---”

“What?” Jared cuts off the announcer without realising. “They can't just _quit_.”

They're in the middle of the morning meeting where all of the remaining teams gather together to touch base and hear any updates.

The announcer seems disinterested by Jared's outburst. “Look, I'm just the messenger.”

Jared eyes him darkly before he stands and leaves the conference room. Luckily he doesn't have to travel too far for an explanation; Danneel is talking to Matt's uncle in the lobby area.

“You can't quit.” Jared doesn't care if he's being rude, what he says still stands. The Bluebirds have been the Dinosaurs rivals over the past few months. They _need_ to play each other.

Danneel smiles at Mr Cohen sweetly. “Can you excuse me a moment?”

“What's going on?” Jared demands to know when she ushers him into a corner that's housing potted plants.

“Jensen doesn't want to play anymore and we only joined this stupid team so that he could have a good reason to see you every week. We're not that invested. Although, I think Mike and Tom hooked up last night.”

“What?” Jared shakes his head. “Whatever, that's not important. We _need_ you guys to stay in the tournament so that we can be the rightful winners.”

Danneel's eyes narrow. “We both know that Bluebird Rovers would kick the Disastrous Dinosaurs asses all day _every_ day.”

Jared laughs at that. “Oh, please. You got lucky in our last game. This time we're prepared. So prepared that y'all are punking out.”

It's all bullshit really, the Bluebirds are superior in every way on paper, but Jared's not going to let that stand in the way of convincing her to reverse the decision.

Danneel steps forward, so close that Jared can smell her perfume. It's actually pretty nice, spicy, with hints of sandalwood, jasmine and--

“Oh, we're playing,” she says, cutting him off mid-thought. “We're going to get to the final and kick your sorry asses.”

She stomps out of the lobby, leaving Jared to watch a wild trail of red hair.

He makes his way back into the conference room and drops into the seat next to Chad.

“Apparently, Jensen doesn't want to play anymore,” he grumbles “It's like he gets off on _leaving_.”

Chad rolls his eyes. “Didn't see that one coming.”

Jared sits up and glances at the rest of the team. “Look, it's not my fault. I did what you told me to do. How is this my fault?”

“Actually, it kind of is,” Sandy pipes up from two seats down. “From my understanding, Jensen only came on this trip to win you back. You shot him down. Bye bye trip.”

Amy leans forward to join in. “This isn't a romantic comedy, Sandy. Why would Jensen, an educated lawyer, pick a rowdy kickball tournament to try and win his lover back?”

Jared can't help the breathless laugh that escapes his mouth. “... because he doesn't have a romantic bone in his body.”

_It's a stuffy Thursday evening and they're lying on Jared's couch, bodies intertwined and feet tangled together. They're watching Modern Family. Well. Jared's watching it while Jensen laments the fact that it's still on air._

_They don't usually do this. Hang out. It's just that Jared's got a mild headache and Jensen didn't want to leave him when he stopped by._

_“This is kind of romantic,” Jared says, knowing full well that he's in dangerous waters. “Both of us, just...being together.”_

_Jensen laughs, a deep rumble that reverberates in Jared's chest. “I don't have a romantic bone in my body. Seriously. Whenever I try to make a grand gesture, I either get competitive or passive aggressive. Or both. It's not great.”_

_Jared nudges him in the side. “I find that hard to believe.”_

_“You'd be surprised.”_

_“_ Jared, I know that you're having a moment or whatever, but we have our game against Kermit Kite Runners in twenty minutes,” Chad points out.

That certainly snaps Jared out of his reverie. “That still haven't changed that stupid name?

It's a rhetorical question given that he's had to write it down in his binder for the past three years.

Matt turns around from where he's seated in the row ahead and frowns. “You do realise that they're _actually_ Kite Runners from Kermit. Their captain, Aldis, is one of my best friends.”

Chad rolls his eyes. “Matt, you have fifty different ‘best friends’.”

Matt's smile is gleaming. “I'm a popular guy.”

~

Dynamite Dinosaurs beat the Kite Runners and progress to the semi-finals where they will meet the Lub Dubb Dubbers.

Sandy frowns at the announcement. “Are they seriously called the Lub Dubb Dubbers? How am I just realising how crazy some of these names are?”

Jared taps his binder. “We can't make fun of them. They're raising money for their local heart charity.”

Chad laughs and readjusts his baseball cap. “We can so make fun of them. Charity or not, you can pick a decent name.”

“Wow, irony meet the Disastrous Dinosaurs!” Danneel says as she's walking past while glaring at them like they're dirt under her expensive running shoes.

Jensen and the rest of the Bluebirds are hovering nearby; half of them are glued to their cellphones, but Jensen's looking directly at him.

Jared ignores Danneel's remark in favour of confronting Jensen. “I thought you were leaving?”

Jensen's smirk is faint. “I promised to kick your asses in the final. Couldn't pass up that opportunity.”

~

Predictably, both the Dinosaurs and Bluebirds reach the final, setting up a tense atmosphere.

“I'm so pumped for this. We're going to kick their asses.” Sandy literally bounces up and down with excitement.

Jared wishes he could do the same, but he can't stop thinking about Jensen.

He _stayed._

Even after Jared rejected him... That's gotta mean something, right?

Chad smacks Jared's shoulder. “I'm all for love, but we're not throwing this game so that you and Jensen can kiss and make up.”

Jared frowns and smacks Chad back. “Who said anything about letting Jensen win?”

~

Before the game starts, Jensen makes his way over to Jared.

“Hey, I just wanted to wish you good luck,” he says. “Oh and I'm sorry for everything... It was unfair to do that here. When you've worked so hard to get the team here.”

Jared nods slowly, glancing behind him to look at the rest of the Bluebirds. Apart from Danneel, they don't seem to interested in Jensen's whereabouts.

Jensen smiles, but it doesn't reach his eyes. With one last pat, he leaves and jogs back to where the rest of the Bluebirds are warming up.

Jared reaches his team long enough to hear Chad's rallying cry of “DYNA-MIITE!”

“RAAAAAAWR!”

Chad whoops loudly. “Let's get 'em!”

~

The Dinosaurs end up pitching first, which isn't what Jared would have liked. Sandy always takes her time to get into her stride. Chad, while a decent catcher, almost always fumbles between second and third base. Amy and Matt are good players, but their strengths lie in kicking. That leaves Tom, who's basically the perfect kickball player.

They're down 2-0 within the first half-innings Jensen scores a home run, and has the nerve to look good while doing it. Jared's confused because he has Jensen's techniques down in the binder. He pitched slightly towards the left, knowing that Jensen leans into his right just before he kicks. Breaking pitch. It works every time.

Except for today.

It didn't work. None of his specially crafted techniques have worked. Jensen hovers behind him when they change over.

“You're not the only one who can do research.”

Jared eyes him warily. “We're still going to beat you.”

Jensen smiles. “We'll see about that.”

~

By the third quarter, the score is 3-3, with the Dinosaurs pulling off a miraculous comeback. Sandy actually _kicked_ the ball and that's almost as good as a win at this point.

“This is the best day ever!”

Jared grins at her from where he's on third base. Jensen's nearby, in position and Jared is reminded of happier times. He turns briefly and Jensen's eyes are on him.

“Did you really mean what you said?”

Jensen doesn't falter or ask what Jared's referring to. “I always mean what I say.”

Jared's so distracted that he doesn't realise that Chad's kicked the ball until he screams,

“QUIT EYE FUCKING JENSEN AND RUN!”

It's moot anyway, because the ball rolls past Jensen slowly, but he's even slower to react leaving Jared time to practically walk to the home plate.  

Amy and Matt are waiting for him at the dugout with matching twin expressions of annoyance.

“This is like book club all over again,” Amy starts. “We're halfway through _Night Film_ and you start rambling about _Gone Girl_.”

“Yeah,” Matt agrees. “You're easily distracted.”

Jared rubs at his eyes and goes to grab a bottle of water. He's _so_ glad he quit their stupid book club.

The game boils down to one last pitch, with Sandy to kick the ball. She's only managed that one kick and Jared's all out of ideas. He tosses the binder onto the ground.

“You've got this,” he tells her. “Just kick the ball.”

Sandy frowns. “Is that it? Usually, you have something to say about angles and what side to lean towards.”

Jared looks at where Jensen is and thinks that maybe that's his problem.

He's always trying to plan every single microsecond of life instead of just _living_ it.

Not anymore.

“Just focus on the ball and you'll be fine.”

Sandy doesn't seem too happy with that advice, and Jared admittedly watches with bated breath as the ball rolls towards her in what feels like slow motion.

THWACK!

He can hardly believe his eyes when her sneaker connects with the ball, sending it ricocheting into the air at high speed. Chad and Tom reach home before the ball starts to descend and they gather together to cheer Sandy on as skips past second, third and literally slides onto the home plate just before Jensen and Danneel collide in an attempt to catch the ball.

They've done it.

They've won the championship!

“DYNAAAAA-MMMITE!!” Chad's yelling before the umpire can even call the match.

Jared joins in with the resulting, “RAWWRRR!”, bellowing it from the top of his lungs.

“I can't believe we won,” Amy says, wiping tears from her eyes furiously.

Eventually, the Bluebirds come over to congratulate them, with Jensen lingering a touch longer.

“Congratulations... looks like you were right about beating us,” he says, offering Jared a celebratory pat on the shoulder.

For some reason, Jared is lost for words. Now that the championship is over, it seems like they finally are too.

He watches on in silence when Jensen walks away.

~

They have an end of tournament dinner later that evening and while Jared would love to get completely wasted, he's back at work in two days. The next day is going to get eaten up by traveling and the tiredness that comes with it, so he decides to just have a couple of drinks and chill.

That plan comes to a screeching halt when he reaches the hotel restaurant and finds it empty. His first move is to check his cell but Chad's text clearly reads:

_meet us @ the hotel restaurant_

“Jared.”

He looks up from his screen and the lights flash on suddenly.

Jensen is standing by a table in the centre of the room, his eyes uncertain but firmly on Jared.

“What is this?” Jared can hear the resigned note in his own voice, but he can't help it. He doesn't want to have another argument about what they _weren't_.

Jensen gestures towards the table and against his better judgement, Jared joins him. There are candles burning brightly in the dim lighting and if Jared didn't know better, he might think this was a romantic gesture.

Jared pulls out a chair and sinks into it slowly. He's feeling the strain of playing so much kickball over the past few days. His legs ache, his back is starting to cramp and there's a numb sensation in his wrist. All he wants to do is grab a few drinks and relax.

“Jensen, I'm not sure that rehashing our relationship is the best idea... It's okay. I get it.”

“You don't, Jared, and that's my fault. I never come out and just say what I mean. I'm afraid of just, I don't know, having to depend on someone. Or getting so attached that it'll hurt if I have to leave. Or if _they_ leave.”

“I know,” Jared says. “I get it. You don't have to explain yourself to me, Jensen.”

Jensen carries on like Jared hasn't spoken. “When I saw you with Tom, I was...I was angry. At myself. At the level of jealousy I felt when it was my fault.”

Jared's almost forgotten about that whole thing with Tom. Wow, and he had sex with Jensen right after that charade. He clears his throat uncomfortably.

“Tom and I were never going out.”

Jensen nods. “I know. Chad told me. You were giving him pointers on how to approach Mike, but you didn't want to say that when I asked.”

Jared blinks at him; he's really going to have to tell Chad to let him know about these elaborate lies beforehand.

“Look, I hate to sound like I don't care, but I'm confused, Jensen. You planned all of this to win me back, but I still don't feel like you've changed. What's different? How do I know that you're not jerking me around?”

For the first time since Jared met him, Jensen looks truly lost. It's like the layers have melted away and it's just him; uncovered for the world to see.

“I love you, Jared,” Jensen admits softly. “I think I always have. More than I can bear. It's kind of like kickball. You're the kick that has me coming out of my zone. With you, I feel like I'm running between bases and I'm not sure if I'm going to make it. Before, that uncertainty used to scare me. Now... I see that the beauty is in letting go and seeing what happens....”

It's a lot to take in.

Being rejected by someone is one thing, but taking them back is the part that's really tricky. Jared doesn't want to find himself regretting this a year from now.

On the other hand, maybe Jensen deserves a chance.

Maybe _they_ deserve to try this for real this time.

“That's an interesting analogy for a guy that thinks kickball is stupid.”

Jensen's laugh is soft and uncertain. “I don't think it's stupid. Not anymore.”

Jared regards him quietly, looks him in the eyes and searches for a shred of doubt, _anything_.

He doesn't find it.

All he sees is hope.

There's a flickering ember of gold in Jensen's eyes and there's no way he can say no to that.

“So, you're saying that you want to do this? You want us to give a relationship a chance?”

Jensen nods. “Yeah. I do. A lot.”

“Okay,” Jared agrees. “I'd like that.”

Before Jensen can reply, the side doors of the restaurant burst open and Chad emerges. The rest of the lights flicker on as the rest of the kickball players stroll in.

“ _Finally_ ,” Chad says, before he turns around. “They're back together, everyone. Let's get this show on the road.”

Jared watches on in bemusement as the bar springs to life and caterers roll in trays of food. It's a lot fancier than the beers and peanuts they were going to use to celebrate.

“I think the Bluebirds rubbed a lot of people the wrong way this weekend,” Jensen says. “So, we figured that we'd make up for it.”

It's a nice gesture, although, Jared's curious about one thing.

“What if I'd said no?”

Jensen’s grin forms slowly. “Like, I said before. I always win. C’mon. Let's finish our conversation out on the patio.”

Jared's stomach grumbles, but he follows Jensen anyway. His mind is spinning and he's not sure what's happening. He's gone from buzzing about kickball to being quietly excited about Jensen.

However, a part of him is still not convinced that this is real.

“So, I know that this is sudden, but my friends are throwing a Christmas party in a few weeks. I'd love it you came as my date.”

It hits Jared then just how nervous Jensen is. His hands are trembling slightly and the calm confidence he usually wears is gone.

“Hey…” Jared waits until Jensen looks up at him before he leans in and kisses him slowly. It's short, but just as satisfying as their past kisses. “Don't be so nervous. It's just me…”

“That's what scares me.”

From the way Jensen's cheeks turn scarlet, those words weren't for Jared's ears. He's glad to hear them anyway.

“When we first got together, you scared the shit out of me. I'd see you in the hallway and turn around. I'd say nothing because I didn't want to babble incessantly. And then I got to know you…and I realised that there was nothing to be afraid of.”

Jensen lets his nose brush against Jared's; not quite an Eskimo kiss, but damn close.

“I'm sorry that we've wasted so much time.”

Jared pulls away. “I'm not. The past is the past. Let's just...Look to the future?”

Jensen reaches down, entwines his hand with Jared's and says, “I'm down with that.”

~

_Christmas Day_

Jared's not really a Christmas person. He much prefers Thanksgiving because that's when his entire family convenes and they eat, share gifts and stories and just spend time together.

Over the years, it just made sense to focus on one holiday and Christmas lost out.

So he spends the day watching movies and drinking cheap beer.

This year, he's watching that dumb movie _Jingle All The Way_ where Arnold Schwarzenegger is so desperate to make his kid happy that he does crazy things just to get his hands on an action figure.

He's in the middle of the parade scene when the doorbell rings. He's not expecting any visitors so he assumes it's one of his neighbours

When he opens the door, he's surprised to see that...

It's _Jensen._

“What are you doing here?” Jared says in lieu of a greeting.

He's not upset, just surprised. Last he knew, Jensen was in Texas with his family. He _did_ invite Jared, but meeting family this early on would be crazy even for them.

“Well, I figured that I could see my family anytime. I didn't like the thought of you spending Christmas in your own.”

Jared narrows his eyes. “You're here because you feel sorry for me.”

Jensen rolls his eyes and shakes his head. “No, you, idiot, I'm here because I love you.”

“Oh,” Jared says. “ _Oh_.”

Jensen smiles fondly when Jared just continues to look at him stupidly. ”Are you going to let me in?”

Things have been great between them since the Kickball tournament, and it's now that Jared realises that he's been waiting for the other shoe to drop since.

He's been holding back, doing enough to be in this relationship while protecting himself from any heartbreak that lies in the future.

He can't keep doing that, though. He has to let go of the past and Jensen being here is a good start.

Jensen is asking about being let into his house, but to Jared, letting him in means that he's letting him back to his heart freely.

Jared grins and opens his door fully so that Jensen can makes his way in.

Once, they're in the hallway and concealed from the outside world, Jensen leans in, brushing his hair gently before he pulls him into a slow kiss. Jared's eyes close instinctively and he lets himself go, heart beating wildly when Jensen picks up the pace. Jensen's lips are soft against his own and he tastes like a heady mixture of coffee and mint.  
  
When Jensen pulls back, his eyes are a mossy green and his lips are swollen, and Jared can't be faulted for diving back in. This time there's nothing slow about it. It's fast, messy and if they don't stop it's going to turn into something else. Jared is too far gone, too enticed by the spicy undertones of Jensen's cologne and the warmth of his skin beneath his hands.  
  
Surprisingly, it's Jensen who breaks their embrace.  
  
"Uh, wow. That was... amazing, but I think we should probably stop."  
  
Jared raises an eyebrow. "What? Why?"  
  
"That's not what I came here for, Jared," Jensen says, hands suddenly fidgeting the way they do when he's nervous. "I came because I want to spend time with you. I want to watch stupid Christmas movies and drink eggnog and just...be here. With you."  
  
Jared hasn't gotten around to opening any of his Christmas gifts yet, but he's pretty sure none of them will top this moment.  
  
Fin.


End file.
